Trigger warning: this article talks about baby loss.

When you first find out that you are pregnant, the initial joy, excitement and relief you feel may only last a few weeks if you are one of the numerous women who experience miscarriage. The statistics tell us it is 1 in 4 women, but when I look around my family and friendship group pretty much every woman I know has experienced miscarriage, including me. It is heart breaking.

When I lost my baby, I am not sure that I even told work about it. I think many women do their best to keep it private as they don’t want their employer to know they are trying to get pregnant, and this means that we end up managing the loss alone – a traumatic and deeply upsetting experience.

Even more devastating is the shock that a mother (and father) experiences when their baby is stillborn or dies soon after birth. I have two close friends who have had to endure the loss of their baby, and the grief they continue to experience years later is agonising to witness.

Every day in the UK around 13 babies die before, during or soon after birth. That means nearly every two hours a family is faced with the devastation of the death of their baby (Sands).

In my coaching practice supporting women returning to work after having a baby I have encountered mental health challenges, sleep exhaustion, wellbeing concerns and many other personal and individual considerations.

However, the word maternity when used alongside the word coaching tends to suggest that the coaching can only be taken upon the return to work. In my experience, parents – and mothers in particular – can benefit from coaching for many years after childbirth and the return to work.

Losing a baby is life changing. Nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming sense of loss and grief, which crashes back over you every year as the anniversary of the death of your baby brings back extremely painful memories. We all deal with grief and our own mental health differently, but it is very common to suffer in silence.

Progressive workplaces are those that recognise the value of supportive workplace policies, mental health training and upskilling line managers in cultivating a compassionate and supportive work environment. Letting your employees know that there are safe spaces where they can receive coaching or specialist counselling help is hugely important.

Not only is it Baby Loss Awareness week, but yesterday was Mental Health Awareness day. Check in on your loved ones and your colleagues, and please do reach out if you’d like to talk.